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April 2007

We’ve just returned from retreat in Mexico: Beautiful beaches, the ocean as our background music, great food and lovely accommodations. We rested, we swam, and practiced together deeply. There’s something so rich about being able to step out of life as we know it, and step fully into our hearts from a space of freshness.

The theme for the week was, Embracing the Fullness of What Is As It Is. This means embracing the things about ourselves and our lives which we tend to push away, disown, and deny. You might think, “Well, it’s easy to embrace life on retreat”, but no matter where we go, each of us carries the pain, shame and challenge of being human. If anything, slowing down on retreat allows us to be with and truly feel, those soft, tender places that our hyper-scheduled lives usually keep us from experiencing.

Lulled by the sea, inspired by the courage in one another, each participant found a way into the experience of fullness; which also means, each was able to experience the underlying agitation that feeds the tendency to cling to or reject what is. The Tibetan word for this agitated energy, is shenpa. Shenpa refers to the desire within us to grip or push away, to label good, bad, right or wrong. Through the week, we observed shenpa arising and how often our actions are motivated by an attempt to manipulate circumstances so we no longer feel this basic unease. It’s like not scratching a mosquito bite that’s very itchy. Less distraction makes the practice more potent, enabling us to sit with the shenpa and breathe it in, without seeking relief or smoothing out the edges.

One particular afternoon, things got a little testy. My co-teacher Julie and I had designed a restorative yoga practice for the 4:30 session. One student voiced her disappointment with having to come inside when the beach was so inviting. Another expressed a desire to watch the sunset and several sighed in consensus. Still others voiced an interest in sticking with the program. What to do? Everywhere we turned, there was shenpa.

We began with practice, modifying from our original intent in order to meet the energy in the room. After about an hour, as the light began to shift outside, Julie and I agreed our practice needed to move to the beach. We introduced the idea of chanting the ‘Fullness Chant’, we’d been practicing all week as we walked to the beach and then to meditate as we watched the sun touch down.

Chanting boldly, I led the way, though I was filled with doubt that this was the ‘right’ choice. Unable to see the faces of the group behind me, I wasn’t sure if they were okay with the shift. I marched us down to the beach and sat, aware of the mixture of uncomfortable energy arising inside of me. The sun was lowering, the color shifting minute by minute; rose, then pale yellow, fuchsia, then silver, each hue multiplied by thousands in the prism of the ocean’s waves. I noticed my thoughts, like the colors, changing minute by minute – chanting, worrying, enjoying, chanting, doubting, appreciating, longing, chanting… My shenpa and I kept each other company. As the chant died down, we sat in silence. My mind continued to swirl, the sparkle of light tap-dancing on the tide. Just as the sun’s crimson glow dropped below the horizon, someone behind me began to chant again and we all chimed in for a final chorus. Above the sea, a flock of birds called to us. We watched them swoop and glide in an impromptu air dance.

Inspired by the birds, Julie called on us to become like a flock. We gathered close and began moving in formation. One by one, each of us stepped in as leader, guiding the group through silly moves, graceful moves, swooping and gliding. We followed along, giggling like 5 year olds, united in imaginary flight.

The shenpa that initiated our practice had been transformed into joy. Without making anyone or anything right or wrong, we learned to flow together, to co-create an experience that took us deeply into the heart of fullness.

Blessings,

The Yoga Barn, Inc.
Robin Rothenberg, Certified Yoga Instructor
660 NW Gilman Blvd., Suite C6, Issaquah, WA  98027
Studios located in both Issaquah and Fall City
Phone: 425.427.0038  -  Fax: 425.427.0613
E-mail: info@yogabarn.com  -  Web: www.yogabarn.com

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