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Transitions to Grace - April 2002

My mother-in-law likes to say, "It’s not life that’s tough - it’s the transitions." As my children are nearing that time of life when they are setting off on their own, I’ve had to face the challenge that my role as mother must change along with them. The mommy that made the boo-boos all better is no longer the mother they need to grow through this transition into adulthood. More and more, my job is to be the silent support behind the scenes, to get out of the way so that they can experience the world on their own terms. Learning when to let go and step aside has been the most delicate balance I’ve had to negotiate, more challenging than standing on one leg in Tree pose, even with my eyes closed.

In yoga, we focus on the points of transition, precisely because it’s at those unfixed moments that the truth between where we’ve been and where we are is revealed. Each class begins with time to notice the breath and tune our awareness into the experience of our body and mind in the present moment. Although this may sound peaceful, in that new-agey kind of way, the reality is often quite the opposite. Inside, our minds play a cacophonous tape of conversations, incidents, fantasies and emotions that are often so noisy, that the moment we close our eyes and focus on them, we feel like someone’s blasting Heavy Metal inside our head.

Of course, all this disquiet is happening in our minds throughout our day whether we are paying attention to it or not. The difference is that with yoga we bring the intention to shift our focus from our relationships with others, our work and what we do, to our relationship with ourselves. Before we move into yoga postures, we remove the posture of our day, the shields or masks of our doing self, and reconnect to that eternal part of us that recognizes we are simply being here — now. Eventually, using the breath as our guide, the tide of mind-waves begins to settle and we shift into movement.

In viniyoga, we move in and out of postures several times before we stay and hold any one position. In this way, we practice transition again and again. Each asana, or posture begins with a base of stillness, and out of that, we move, at times with ease, sometimes with an awkward kind of wobble. Perfection in asana, isn’t about a fixed pose that can be photographed for the cover of Yoga Journal, but rather, it is a momentary revelation of grace that teaches us about holding our ground without rigidity; opening ourselves to change without uprooting our foundation. It is all about practicing what’s hardest in life, so we can meet those challenges with equanimity.

As my fledglings are about to take flight, I am grateful for all the years of practice on the mat, that has provided me the platform to make it through this transition with a little more grace and less wobble, than I would otherwise. Knowing how to find the stillness within, to cultivate my own roots, helps me to relax around my desire to take charge of their lives, and helps return my attention to my own center. It is through yoga that I am able to release them to their "dharma" — their path — and begin the work of redefining my own. That doesn’t mean I won’t be a sobbing mess at Jamie’s graduation ceremony in June, but the tears will only in part be about loss, the greater part will be in celebration of the birth — of us both.

The Yoga Barn, Inc.
Robin Rothenberg, Certified Yoga Instructor
660 NW Gilman Blvd., Suite C6, Issaquah, WA  98027
Studios located in both Issaquah and Fall City
Phone: 425.427.0038  -  Fax: 425.427.0613
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